tracy's thread of thoughts!

 Why do some of us hang out with toxic people who we know are unhealthy for us? Imagine two hypothetical romantic candidates you could choose from: partner 1, a respectful, well-mannered and emotionally healthy guy who helps you see the best in yourself versus partner 2, a demeaning, judgmental brute who always goes out of their way to lower your self-esteem in order to easily manipulate you. Who would you choose? You’d expect the mass majority to overwhelming choose the nicer one, right?   Surprisingly, a 1992 study conducted by William Swann and his colleagues asked participants the exact same question, helping them confirm a pattern in which people made this decision. Swann found that people seek out interaction partners who confirm their existing self-views, even if those views are negative. The correlation between people with highly negative self-views and bad partner decisions was directly positive, meaning those with low self-esteem prefer interaction partners who view ...

 For the past 8 months of my life, I’ve strayed away from any romantic relationships, entering what I believed to be a stage of healing, independence and personal evolution. The progress I made from distancing myself from intimacy was so refreshing, almost addictive. I devoted all my time and energy entirely to my responsibilities and growth, jam-packing my schedule with different activities until I had no space to think about anything “unnecessary”. I convinced myself that this level of achieved solitude meant I had unbreakable levels of self-respect and empowerment, especially in a culture where being emotionally detached as a woman was easily rationalized as a necessary act of self-preservation and maturity. This “healing” of mine was blinding me from opportunities of deeper intimacy and important emotional connections. Over time, especially since I hit a “checkpoint” of some sort (meeting someone new) I began to question whether what I thought was “empowerment” was, in truth, a...

  Have you ever been out in public with someone of a different generation, may it be your relative, friend, student, etc, and noticed a huge difference in the ability to stay patient? The older generation is able to handle things at a much slower pace, while the younger seem to be on edge and constant longing for the next stimuli. This is not just a matter of maturity or development, but instead a larger issue of our generations problem of instant gratification. It’s the most common trend that thrive in a culture we’ve grown up with, one that prioritizes convenience, technology, and access over anything else.      The older generation spent a large portion of their lives without the internet or smartphones. As someone who was born into the speed of technology, it’s almost shocking to hear and imagine a life without my phone. A prevalent thought of mine was when my mother told me that when she was in college, she used to follow the pencil tip building in downtown Atla...

    Lately, ever since the new president’s inauguration, I’ve been passionately expressing protest for his administration and choices, with no boundaries even when it comes to friends, family, or peers. While I do think it’s important to fight for what’s right and protest injustice, the response I receive from people such as when I’m met with indifference makes me question: How do I balance my passion for truth and justice while respecting others’ autonomy? What’s my intent vs. my impact? At the heart of my question, I know caring deeply isn’t inherently wrong, but I need to practice balancing that care with patience and humility.      The other day I got into a heated argument with my best friend—we went into a back and forth about other’s’ characteristics and pointed out questionable behaviors or beliefs that we didn’t like about each other. One thing she said that stuck with me was that I tend to preach my beliefs onto people who aren’t going to change....