The Issue of Addiction

     The majority of society has been conditioned to use forgiving language and be lenient when dealing with the topic of addiction. We label it as a disease, we believe that addicts should receive treatment and empathy -- that they shouldn’t be blamed for their behaviors and decisions. We preach this – yes, but deep down many of us have the thought that maybe if they just tried a little harder, they could stop. Every time they choose another destructive behavior over a healthy one, we feel an unavoidable sense of disappointment. We judge them for screwing themselves over, leading into a deeper spiral of self destruction. Surely, if we were in their position, we would never have let it gotten this far, right? Well, this view of seeing addiction as a moral flaw only worsens circumstances for addicts, making it even harder to seek helpful opportunities. It imprints guilt and shame into people who don’t need it on top of their already prominent struggles.

 

    No drug addict grows up thinking “One day, I hope I isolate myself from all my loved ones and alienate myself to the point where I have no semblance of a social life.” Addicts start out by just excitedly experimenting, just like everyone else. The difference is that for some people, it feels normal. Each person is genetically wired differently, and for those with anxiety or other mental illnesses they may feel like they had finally found their safe space—a space in a world where they usually feel disconnected. It’s a very hard thing to say no to.

 

    Empathy is important. It’s very easy to point fingers blaming the wrong parts, but much harder to understand the underlying issues that led them to that spot in the first place. What people fail to understand is that addiction is rarely just about the substance, but rooted in actually much deeper issues like trauma, mental health, poverty, or systematic/socioeconomic inequalities. We are all human. By blaming addicts we’re oversimplifying a much more complex problem because we can simply never fully understand what they’re going through. Blame leads to an emotional burden that does nothing but deepen the addiction cycle. Think about it: If you were a struggling addict who every time takes a step forward, gets reprimanded for being where they are even in progress, how would you feel? If it were to be as simple as just stopping, don’t you think they would’ve already? Blaming an addict makes them feel like you only see them for their mistakes – not for their humanity. Addiction stems from a longer story of pain, reasons, and other things that have led them to that point. It forces them to want to hide, because being treated like a lost cause eventually manifests itself into actually feeling like one. Why bother asking for help when all they receive is more discouragement and judgement?

 

    Let’s not get this confused with having to tolerate extreme mistreatment from addicts though, especially when it shouldn’t be your responsibility to put their mental health over yours. There are always extremes to both sides. You can be extremely mistreated or be the one doing the mistreating. This does not mean abandoning people who need help—it’s just acknowledging that you cannot carry the weight of being the only one trying. Whoever is supporting the addict and the addict themselves need to meet halfway for it to work, or else no progress will be made and, in the process, the other person’s mental health will end up deteriorating. In order to maintain a healthy relationship an addict needs to take responsibility for their actions, just as we do too when we take responsibility for our mental health. It is difficult, by no means an easy thing to do, but tolerating abusive behavior is not the kind of progressive people think it is..

 

    At the end of the day, it’s about finding a balance between offering someone support and also taking care of yourself. Addiction is incredibly tough. It ruins lives and tears about families. When you offer compassion, it makes a huge difference in those lives. But it’s also important to remember you can’t create a one sided dependency-giving dynamic. Just because you’re not the one struggling with addiction, doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to set boundaries to protect yourself. It’s not about choosing one over the other—it’s about finding a balance.